2024 Author: Howard Calhoun | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 10:16
In order to correctly assess the possibility of such an action as a confidential conversation, you must first learn how to correctly and professionally assess the competence of a person in the disposition for such. To do this, you need to know the features of the methods of psychology in order to reduce conflict, if it arose, and to choose the right words. Our main topic in the article: confidential conversation - what is it?
Communication
In psychology, there are different concepts of communication and its role in such a thing as a confidential conversation. This is one of the basic human needs, the attitude of a person to the world around him. Here is a far from complete list of explanations of this concept. In life, people have a need for contact with each other, exchange of information, understanding others, building an interaction strategy, and this need is manifested precisely in communication. There are different types of communication. This is mediated, direct, informal, dialogic, group and mass. The mediated conversation takes place by phone, in letters. Direct communication - face to face. Informal - just a confidential conversation, this is a friendlyconversation.
Means of conversation
In communication, verbal and non-verbal means of communication are distinguished. The second is very important in building a model - a trusting or confidential conversation, and they predetermine the success of a confidential conversation. After all, there is such a saying - the tongue says one thing, and the eyes - another. Therefore, in a confidential conversation with an experienced person, it is very important that the language of gestures, facial expressions always work in conjunction with what they say with the language. Therefore, if you want to correctly set up such a process as organizing a confidential conversation, it is impossible to say one thing and signify another with gestures. There is a whole science that studies sign language - proxemics. Communication predetermines the distance at which it is comfortable to carry on a conversation. There is an intimate distance (0-50 cm) - this is just the communication of close people, kindred souls. But a conversation, including a confidential one, between familiar people is carried out at a distance of 50-120 cm, the so-called personal distance. And finally, social and public distances, in which communication takes place at medium and long distances. When organizing confidential conversations, every little thing is important. The mentioned distance of conversations is important. For example, a table in a conversation is usually associated with power - you are the guest, I am the host. Therefore, it is important to conduct a confidential conversation not at the table, but to put the chairs at 90 degrees to each other. This makes the interlocutor to trust.
Poses
In confidential conversationspostures should be open, the body and head are turned to the interlocutor, the palms are open, which also shows your openness in the conversation. The legs are not crossed, the muscles are relaxed, the gaze is straight in the face - this is the position that is typical for a confidential conversation. For otherwise, your posture will testify to insincerity.
Gestures
Let's describe some gestures that in a conversation will show what a person really thinks:
- jacket unbuttoned - good intentions;
- hands hidden behind back – feeling of guilt;
- crossed on the chest - protection;
- arms relaxed - calm;
- a person sits on the edge of a chair - interest in the conversation;
- scratches chin - contemplates decision;
- does things slowly - contemplates the answer;
- covers his mouth with his hand during his saying - deceit;
- the owner of the place where the conversation takes place begins to collect papers or something else - the conversation is over;
- body facing the exit - desire to leave.
Here are some gestures by which you can find out what your interlocutor is breathing.
Intonation
Intonation people can emphasize some moment in communication, express feelings and emotions. Sometimes imperious, mocking, ironic, confident. In a confidential conversation, the intonation should be confidential, calm, not hostile. The interlocutor will always trust the tone of voice more than what you say. If there are discrepancies between these concepts, then there is a hidden subtext, namely, a confidential conversation is a communication in which there is nothere may be nothing hidden.
Making contact
When starting a confidential conversation, it is important to establish appropriate contact with each other.
And for such contact it is important to make a good first impression. Clothing, voice timbre, gestures, facial expressions, and so on - everything is important for a positive effect when establishing friendly, trusting contact with the interlocutor. There are three conditions for contact with a person. This is sincerity, acceptance of the interlocutor without any "needs", empathy - tuning to the wave of the interlocutor, to his experiences.
Confidential conversation
In a confidential conversation, people do not just say words, but interact with each other, study each other, make contact, defend their interests, try to trust and count on trust. There is a precautionary rule. All of the above has implications. Therefore, to establish trust, it is necessary to take into account what you say, how you show emotions, what gestures you use. It is necessary to use in conversation the principle of creating favorable psychological conditions for establishing warm, sincere relationships, and conversation in particular. The Appropriate Impression Rule says that if you want to have a confidential conversation, it is important to consider your appearance. He shouldn't be aggressive. In addition, if you want to start a trusting relationship, it is important to demonstrate, first of all, sincerity in the conversation and in your attitude towards the interlocutor. If adisagreements arise, then you need to learn how to find points of agreement with the interlocutor in time, even when it seems that you have more differences. It is important to show by example how important it is to learn to trust the interlocutor even the most important secrets for yourself. Then the interlocutor will open up and begin to trust you.
Result
And when some result has already been achieved in establishing a confidential conversation, it is important not to lose what we have achieved. After all, any compromise threatens with the loss of what was being established with such difficulty. Do not allow falsehood in conversation. The exposure of a lie immediately erects insurmountable boundaries between the two speakers. So if you have already established a confidential conversation, it is worth a lot. And in no case do not try to destroy such a shaky feeling as trust. Your courtesy, courtesy, understanding of the essence of the tasks will help you in such a difficult matter as a confidential conversation.
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