People rarely think about the secrets of productive communication. But knowing some tricks, you can not only become a pleasant conversationalist, but also learn how to manipulate people. How to do it? Pay attention to the feedback that you give in conversations and that comes back to you. Find examples of feedback below.
Do you want to become a good communicator? Then you need not only to listen to people, but also to understand them correctly. And this will not work if you do not receive feedback from the person. What it is? This is confirmation from the interlocutor that he understood you. But confirmation, not given in the form of “uh-huh”, “of course I will”, but a detailed answer to the question. All kinds of nods and exclamations of approval can also be called feedback, but these are more examples of ineffective communication.
What might an employee's performance feedback look like? An example is this: the boss says thata project needs to be done, and the subordinate, in turn, says that the project will be done tomorrow by 16. In this form, communication can be called effective, the problem posed was quickly resolved and transformed into a clear plan that needs to be completed.
The answer to the question posed can be considered feedback. Conventionally, all the dialogues that people lead can be divided into two types - evaluative and non-evaluative. Accordingly, the feedback will have similar names:
- Estimated. In this case, the person expresses his point of view. And it doesn't matter if the opinion coincides with the opponent or not. In such dialogues, a discussion takes place, which affects the work of thought, which means that such conversations remain in the head of the interlocutors for a long time. Here is an example of developing feedback to an employee: Vasily, do you think Semyon will cope with the task? Semyon is an excellent specialist and well suited for this position.
- Priceless. In this case, the opinion of the interlocutor does not need to be clarified. Most often, examples of this type of feedback can be observed when the seller is talking to the buyer. In this case, the person who offers a product or service first finds out what the interlocutor needs, and in accordance with this he thinks what to offer him.
How often after a dialogue do you have a residue, and you think that you did not understand the interlocutor? If you have this feeling all the time, then use feedback. Examples of such dialogues can bemeet every minute in life. For example, a mother asks her son if he has done his homework, and the boy decides to change the subject without giving feedback in order to avoid answering. This is a clear example that a person is not saying something or lying. A face with nothing to hide will always give back to you.
You can also often find feedback techniques at a meeting in any office. After the planning meeting is over, the leader will distribute tasks to each member of the team or department, and then wait for a response from the responsible person to make sure that the task has been accepted for work.
Purposes for providing feedback
Do you ever wonder why you give feedback? Just like that, by inertia? No, everything is much more complicated. A person gives feedback to another person in order to correct their own reactions and behaviors. Depending on your answer, the opponent may behave in different ways. And you, trying to predict his reaction in advance, you can either play along with him or piss the person off. Often people play such psychological games without even thinking about what they have done and said.
Examples of feedback of such a plan: a guy calls a girl on a date and, of course, the lady understands that the young man wants a positive answer. However, a girl can flirt and stretch the rubber without saying yes or no. There will be feedback in the end, but it will be too vague. Situations like this may or may notabout a person's uncertainty in his choice, or about a kind of game that someone started for their own interest or for their own benefit.
Purpose of getting feedback
Man does not like to live in ignorance. Any person wants to have certainty in life. And for this, the interlocutors require feedback from each other. Example: the boss tells an employee that he needs to go to work on a day off. It is clear that the person is dissatisfied, however, he was warned and he has to give feedback so that the authorities know and can plan production, counting on their subordinate. What is the purpose of the feedback:
- Psychological comfort. Feedback gives a person the opportunity to imagine what the interlocutor is thinking about and how the interlocutor will behave.
- Planning opportunity. Thanks to the response of the opponent, a person can plan his time and manage it wisely.
- Gives the person time to think and act on their opponent's reactions.
How to give feedback the right way
Do you want to be respected? Then you just need to learn how to competently and beautifully give people feedback. If this is not done, you will be considered an uncultured person, and your opinion will not be listened to. See below for tips and tricks on proper feedback:
- Never get personal. Do you want to give negative feedbackconnection? Examples of the wrong approach to this issue: "You are always late for work, I will never entrust such an irresponsible employee with a leadership position." Correct response: "Employees who are late for work will not be able to quickly climb the corporate ladder." Speak in general terms. A person will notice the gentleness of handling him, and will definitely listen to your recommendations.
- Share your conclusions with people less. Remember that all individuals have their own perception of reality, and what is attractive to you may seem ugly to someone. Therefore, expressing your opinion, be careful. Share your observations with your opponents and what conclusions you can draw from them, but do not attach an emotional assessment to the phrase.
- Hurt the other person's feelings less. Want to become a positive conversationalist? Then talk more about your feelings. Even bad news can be sweetened a bit by giving positive feedback. Example: “I am very sorry that you did not get this position, I hope next time it will be yours.”
- Don't overload the person with information. Feedback should contain exactly as much as you think the person will be able to get from it. No need to try to say everything and not forget anything. Focus on the essentials and don't get distracted by the secondary.
The role of gestures
Non-verbal communication is of great importance in the life of any person. People use gestures and body language is just as important as normalspeech. If you want people to treat you positively, then don't try to act like a rock, don't cross your arms when talking, and let your body do the talking. An example of a form of feedback in which you agree with your opponent is a nod or a smile. Sometimes such gestures are even more suitable than words. But remember about formal and informal communication. Sometimes gestures still need to be reinforced with phrases to notify a person that you understand him perfectly.
If you don't share your opponent's point of view, you should still use your body for dialogue. Shaking your head, shrugging your shoulders, all of these bring the speech to life and smooth out the impression that your different views of the world have.
Why do you need it?
Feedback performs the following functions:
- Helps shape trends.
- Helps to know the public mood.
- Improves understanding of people.
- Gives you the opportunity to form your statements depending on the situation.
In the modern world, there are a lot of tools that help a person get feedback. He can receive it not only in person, but also by phone, sms or e-mail.